So Zach and I finally got around to watching an online, pirated version of New Moon tonight. I have to say, I'm very disappointed. No, it wasn't my inner feminist dying a little. Sure, the series deserves almost every criticism about over-controlling boyfriends, severe low self-esteem and general creepiness that it gets. But, truth be told, I kind of like the books, so long as I can avoid thinking about them. My disappointment didn't even stem from Edwards painted on abs after a movie of hot, half-naked, underaged flesh.
No, I'm just disappointed that it wasn't nearly as outrageously, hilariously, emotionally overwrought as the first one. Oh, the drama and extreme statements of undying love and general teenage inanity was just delicious. I had such a fun time laughing and mocking at the first one, I was expecting similar joys from this installment. Sure, there were a few good lines, and mist/halucination Edward was kind of amusing. But overall, it was just dull. Honestly, I don't know how they managed. I've read the book a few more times than I'm willing to admit, they had so much material that they wouldn't have to make any effort to camp it up. Instead I'm stuck with a few wooden, "oh I'm so dangerous and bad" and "but I can't live without you" and that was pretty much it.
Come on guys, the whole point of the movie is the teenage drama. Honestly, I can remember being a teenager (because at 22 it was so long ago...) and I was much more entertainingly, dramatically emotional. She stumbled around a forest and laid down for a bit after her boyfriend dumped her? Come on, I got in some very loud sobs, maybe even a foot stamp or two and some ripped up photographs over my teenage heartbreak, and he wasn't even that hot, not to mention utterly lacking any superpowers. Of course, he never hinted at killing me or killing himself, so that was nice.
Oh Twilight, if you can't even give me good, teenage melodrama, you really don't have anything to offer.
But she screamed in her sleep? Ugh, that was the most awkward part of the mooovieeee.
ReplyDeleteI agree. The first one was much, much better. And by "better" I really mean "criminally cheesy." Whereas New Moon was just plain cheesy.
ReplyDeleteThe third one promises to be pretty good. And there's always Renesmee to look forward to. You can't tell me that 4th movie won't be a hot mess on a plate.
Yeah, there was definitely a lot more material to mock in the first one.
ReplyDeleteHA! I have to share this with you from Sunday night:
ReplyDeleteMB while watching New Moon (his idea): Did you know that Taylor Lautner used to date Taylor Swift? He broke up with her when he realized she's stupid.
And THAT was my favorite part of the movie