Being like Clinton

Every time I see a photo of Secretary Clinton lately, I am struck by how beautifully happy she seems. I almost never see her without her face beaming in pure joy.

By many respects, she has no reason to be so happy. This woman was driven by a goal for years, working like crazy, pushing, striving, giving everything she had just to watch it slip away in the eleventh hour. Who would have blamed her for doing the bare minimum of campaigning afterwards and then fading away comfortably?

And yet, there she is, smiling away, arguably doing the best work of her life. She seems freer somehow, its almost like when she had to let go of what had been driving her for so long and accept the disappointment she was finally able to just do and be, free from all that pressure and perfection. I'm sure being President would have been wonderful for her, but so is what she's doing now.

Things have been a little discouraging at home lately. Zach just got his final letter from the PhD programs he applied for, his last in a string of rejections. This after working like crazy for the past two years on his often miserable masters and fixing his future on entering the academic world.

I still have a year before I have to face the world, and have been lucky enough to get some good news tossed my way. Still, almost every day now I check my e-mail to find another response from a Summer job, all of them polite, but none of them positive.

It's been hard for us (understandably, mostly for him). We both work and work hard (we procrastinate and laze about too, but in between that? Work.) We both have strong, beautiful dreams that we are essentially betting everything on right now. It's terrifying to see little hints that this gamble could not pay off, that everything could be for naught.

I want us to be like Secretary Clinton. To have the drive to go for something with all we have, and the grace to find joy in something else when things don't work out. I want us to be able to keep working towards our original goals just as strongly and passionately as Clinton worked towards hers. We don't want to let the fear of failure stop us, because we know that whatever happens, together, we'll find something wonderful about it.