My little hobgoblin

Sometimes I think of my seizures as being a 3rd party. It's not a chronic condition, or even a real part of my body, it's this mischievous little elf that likes to hang around me and cause mischief. Sort of a green and purple character, with a silly hat and eyes just to the mischievous side of devious.

If I have a seizure at a bad time, well it's just that little critter being a pain again. A good time, is an act of mercy, because bad as he can be, we're somewhat close and he doesn't really want things to be bad for me, he just has to do this, it's his nature. If I go for a period of being good for longer than I expect, I start to wonder what kind of trouble he's planning for the future.

I don't know why it's comforting to think of seizures as an outside entity, but it is. It's not me, not my body betraying me, its something else. It gives them a certain reason or pattern, instead of just being something random. Like this week, which has been particularly bad. It feels like I'm just getting all my seizures out of the way for the new semester. Which can't possibly be true, but it makes me feel better, like they serve some kind of a purpose and are almost an act of mercy from my little companion who is not a friend but I'm still stuck with.