A Healthy Dose of Feminist Reading

I probably spend more time than is entirely healthy on the internet - a decent portion of which is spent on blogs. This can lead to all sorts of side effects. I can keep up with the lives of old friends and peek into the lives of complete strangers in a somewhat voyeuristic fashion. I see people posting pictures and descriptions of new shoes and other goodies that I want and have to talk myself out of overextending my budget to snatch up - not to mention learning how to control envy and be happy with how much I really do have. And on the political side of my internet meanderings I can become better informed - learning new facts and pondering new perspectives. Or I can just get really pissed off.

I could rant and rave on all sorts of issues raised by articles like those below; and someday when I feel like I have something original, insightful or at least coherent to say I probably will. For now I'll just say that I wish people could just treat people like people. Not sex objects, or any other kind of object. Not bags of cash. Not impersonal stereotypes. Not obstacles in the way of what we really want and really value. Just people.

In that light if you're in the mood for some feminist type thoughts (and more than a little ire) here are a few things that have caught my eye lately.

The Fourth Wave: Motherhood Feminism - The next phase for feminism is truly respecting and supporting motherhood. We've gotten better at (some) forms of gender equality, especially in the workplace, but this equality shatters as soon as motherhood is factored in. The #1 risk factor for poverty is motherhood. We need to fix this - or at least start talking about it.

Let's hear it for the boys and The standards for fathers - And speaking of motherhood, we've got to talk about fatherhood. I love all the examples in the first post and subsequent comments about the huge value of and service offered by so many men. And as for the second, I love seeing how much how we think about fathers and families is changing. I think one of the best things to come from feminism is the freedom given to men to engage more fully in some of the wonderful things that men of old have missed out on just because they were thought of as exclusively feminine. Families are wonderful, and the more all people, men and women, are able to really fully engage in all of that, the better things will be for everyone.

The Obama's Marriage - Speaking of families, here's a piece on how one very driven, very modern, but still very family focused couple has tried to make things work.

The Women's Crusade - I've heard a lot of wonderful things recently about how essential supporting women in developing nations is to bringing them out of crushing poverty. This article excelently outlines how simple and how essential supporting women is to supporting the world. But on the flip side, I share this article's concerns about treating the empowerment of women as a means to an end, rather than a worthwhile end in and of itself.

Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced - a practical look at some simple things that good guys can and should do to take rape culture down a peg or two (because really, rape prevention isn't about self defense classes for women - it's changing how we think about rape and people choosing not to rape or support rape)

Have you tried not being so sexy? - A sort of companion piece to Schrödinger's Rapist and a brief look at how we treat women as presumably available objects (some language that may offend people who aren't me)

And if your looking for something a little more entertaining but still with a bit of a thoughtful feminist flavor, may I recommend checking out Dollhouse? I'm a huge Joss Whedon geek fan, which would be enough for me to fall in love with this show. But the more I watch it, and the more the show has gotten into the swing of things, the more I find myself falling head over heels for the way this show deals with humanity, consumerism, objectification and all sorts of other things that shape our society (and that I am now convinced will lead to a horrifying dystopian future). Some of the most recent episodes are on hulu - although being a Joss Whedon show, knowing the mythology and everything else set forth in earlier episodes is probably helpful, so go wander over to SurftheChannel or someplace like that and enjoy your weekend.

In the spirit of recipricioty I'm always looking for new things to read and obsess over, so any suggestions or thoughts or anything really is always appreciated.

Fall Desserts

I keep seeing all these bloggers posting about all the scrumptious fall delights they've been baking up.

My celebration of fall has consisted of blowing through a box of pumpkin donut holes picked up from the bakery section of the local giant which definitely has nothing resembling a bakery on the premises. Although even calling those clazed morsels pumpkin is a bit of a stretch, since the closest thing to pumpkin they contain is the seventh ingredient, something called "pumpkin flakes," which doesn't seem all that closely related to any sort of real squash. They sort of tasted like sawdust. I loved every bite.

Matilda, you hurt me so

When I am in a procrastination lets-dream-about-the future kind of mood, one of my favorite things to do is look at houses online. Ever since I was a little kid I've loved houses; I would draw up my own design plans, go to home shows, and page through design and architecture books. I still waste way to much time drooling over design blogs, wishing and hoping. But hey, I accept that I'm in law school right now, and in a fit of craziness have located myself on the opposite coast from my beloved Oregon. So buying a house just isn't anywhere close to reality right now.

But every now and again I come across a house that just breaks my heart. This house is one of those. I named her Matilda - she's just a tad old fashioned and quirky but all she needs is a little love to shine. She's all I could ever want in a house, with her big open porch, retro stylings, and forested backyard. Sure the place could use a little help to recover from some poor choices in its past, but ist nothing we couldn't work out together. And the part that just twists a knife around in my stomach? The monthly payments for this beauty are just about how much we pay in rent for our shoebox studio. This lawschool thing so better be worth all this.

I hope the squirrels believe in universal heath care

As I was waiting for the bus this morning I watched two squirrels play some weird hybrid of tag and hide and go seek. They would chase each other around the tree in a flurry of squirrel excitement. And then one of them would just freeze like a rock. And the other one would kind of freeze to, and then slowly poke its head around the tree, like its trying to sneak up on the other squirrel, and just as its about to catch site of the other one - BAM, they're off again. I could not stop laughing - and when I'm still not quite awake, that is a decent feat. Also, have you ever paid attention to a squirrel running? They do this great bounding leap thing, sort of like an elegant gazelle bounding across the Savannah - only it looks kind of ridiculous because its a little squirrel running for no apparent reason across the lawn in front of my apartment building. It's a great way to start the morning.

Of course, despite their adorableness, squirrels have a well known nefarious side. When I was in high school the teenage boys in my ward (congregation) had some horrible luck with squirrel related attacks on camping trips. For example, one guy was sleeping in a mummy bag - which as many of you may know leaves you pretty much stuck in a really tight bag, with just your face sticking out - so when a squirrel decides to hop onto your face and maul you with its little squirrel claws, there really isn't much you can do besides scream. Most other reported squirrel attacks were fairly minor, just squirrels throwing things, or taking things, or staring menacingly. And honestly, I'm not entirely sure that any of these supposed events are actually 100% accurate - but that's not particularly important. What is important is that the youth in the ward developed some grand mythology of squirrels as conspiratorial masterminds, bent on world domination. A squirrel dashing away would be a spy reporting to the master group. Buried nuts were really secret communication devices. Forest fires are caused by intersquirrel conflict, as the various factions vied for control in a horrifyingly vicious serious of coups. Little things like that. For a group of teenagers, this was a high form of amusement.

Despite their possible nefarious plans, or possibly because of them, squirrels always make me smile. Also if they ever succeed, I think they would be benevolent overlords.

My desire to divorce people may be scaring my husband

So, I really really love family law. It has everything I'm looking for in a field of law - crazy stories brimming with human drama, personal lives intertwined with the political process, principles and public policy, social values and tons of feminist goodness. I actually occasionally have an odd desire to look up and read articles and other tidbits on my own free time and of my own free will. Now tell me, is there any greater love than that?

The only downside? Whenever I find something that just seems like the coolest thing ever, I like to share it with Zach. And law is so much easier to explain with hypothetical situations. And well, family law is pretty much all about marriage and divorce. And hey, we're married and explaining things using us as an example is just a great way to make things more relatable. Which is how almost every discusion about my cool new family law thing eventually involves the phrase "So if we got divorced..."

I think this may freak him out just a teeny tiny bit. Can't imagine why.

the normalcy of home

My Dad was in DC over the weekend. In many ways I'm shocked by how non-eventful it was. I haven't seen him, or really any of the original family members since Christmas 2008 (Zach and his parents certainly count as family - but they are new family - which is still quite good, its just different. You understand, yes? good. moving on.). I suppose I was expecting that since it had been so long it would be this huge deal, an emotional high and maybe even a little bit stressful and awkward. But instead it just was. We didn't really do anything too terribly exciting over the weekend, as the sun did not shine and it was too wet to play, so we just sat in the house all those cold, cold wet days. We just set an talked, and everything just felt so very normal, like we lived just a few miles away and had decided to spend a few afternoons together. Seeing each other wasn't a big deal, it was just how life was supposed to be

I suppose that's one of the best things with family. Of course all families have there little or not so little dramas, but at the heart of it all being with family is just like coming home - just a natural, normal state of being that feels oh so comfortable and oh so right. This weekend was a wonderful slice of that homey comfortable normalcy, and I loved every minute of it.