So, I look like a junior high hooker. Actually, the hooker language is unnecessary. It's pretty much just how most middle schoolers look. After all, how can people tell how grown up you are for wearing makeup if it is not clearly and obviously visible to everyone within 50 ft.
And then you grow up, decide that maybe like like a whore who exclusively caters to glitter clowns just isn't working anymore, and move on to spending 15 minutes everyday so you can look like you did nothing. I tried to explain this concept to Zach once when we were dating and he mentioned that I looked tired, I tried to explain that I just didn't have makeup on and he tried to claim that I almost never wear makeup, so that couldn't possibly be why.* Considering how much time I would spend to try to impress guys, their extreme ignorance can be a little disheartening.
At least I've had some confirmation that my natural looking makeup skills usually work. Mostly because I have no creativity make-up wise, so I stick to my tried and true itty-bitty bit of foundation, quick swipe of blush and various shades of beige eyeshadow with a swipe of mascara. It works for me. At least until one of my tried and trues runs out. Well, in this case it didn't so much run out, as it did shatter into a cloud of bronzey beige powder. Several times. While I don't really expect my hand-eye coordination to be superb first thing in the morning, it's still a pain to have to replace it.
Apparently enough of a pain that I just kind of grabbed something that looked similar to my old stuff without really looking at it. Had I looked I may have been tipped off by the use of the word crystal and maybe even noticed the giant pieces of glitter. Even using this stuff conservatively results in David Bowie Labyrinth eyes. I don't want to go and spend another $5... but here's hoping for a few groggy mornings so I can get an excuse to end this hideous fashion flashback.
*Actually, I'm not entirely sure this ever happened. I feel like it did. I'm sure we've at least had conversations with similar themes. Still, if I don't have a disclaimer, next month when Zach gets around to reading back posts I'll end up having another I'll have to defend this statement, and I really don't have anything.
I used to think it was a great idea to use big gobs of black liquid liner to make 'wings' where I'd have thick black lines jutting out past my eyelash line. What.was.I.thinking.
ReplyDeleteHaha. SPOT ON about middle school makeup. So painfully true.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when my regular makeup runs out, or worse, is changed/discontinued (that happened to my face powder after it shattered after traveling with it).
ReplyDeleteAnd about middle-school type makeup-I went a long time thinking blue eye shadow was a good idea. Sigh.
Not to make myself sound old as the hills, but I went to Middle School in the late 80's. At that time, colored mascara was all the rage. You know what my favorite look was? No joke: bright purple metallic eyeliner with SKY BLUE mascara. With peach eyeshadow.
ReplyDeleteRawr!