The Brownie Injustice

In general, Zach and I are fairly evenly matched. We're similarly intelligent, have similar senses of humor and the like. But in one very important area, he fully surpasses me. The man has a crazy high metabolism. I eat something non green and leafy, and suddenly my pants don't button up anymore. Zach eats the same meal, only twice as much, and somehow has to move his belt down a notch. It is in no way, shape, or form fair.

And he does not appreciate this gift. At all. He doesn't need to, but he prefers to eat like a 16 year old girl dreaming of the size 2 prom dress. He prefers that everything, even nice, normal baked goods like cinnamon roles be made with wheat flour. He doesn't like red meat - just lean chicken and fish. He eats fruit for dessert! He doesn't really like ice cream, cookies, cake or any of your basic sweets. It just isn't right.

It drives me crazy. At the very least, I should be able to use his metabolism for my own benefit. I should be able to make a delicious tray of whatever I'm craving, eat enough to satisfy me, and count on him to eat the rest and save me from myself. Instead, I have to face up to the fact that any and all sweet things are only in the house to satisfy my own cravings - usually the guilt and shame is just too much, and I won't even bother making whatever I'm craving.

But not today. Today, I needed brownies. I needed rich, chocolaty goodness. And heaven help me, nothing, especially not something as ridiculous as metabolism injustices was going to stop me. Not even my own guilt.

Which is why, whether he likes in or not, he is eating at least 1/3 of these brownies. And if there is any justice at all in the world, he will gain some weight. Seriously, that pan is like 5000 calories. This is why people make brownies from mixes - when you know that brownies are really fat, chocolate and sugar with a little bit of flour, its almost gross. Almost.