Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Don't look behind you!

Our bathroom is a little like a horror movie. It's always been a little dank and depressing, with its chipped tile and permanently foggy mirror. Not to mention the other worldly groans coming from the plumbing. It doesn't help that to get in or out of the bathroom you have to go through the closet, and the thought of what might be lurking in the clothes is not a comforting thought. But with the recent addition of an eerily flickering light, the horror factor has been pushed over the top. I now say a little prayer of protection every time I enter, and look heavenward in gratitude when I leave alive.

The worst part is when you bend over and look downwards into the sink. I'm familiar enough with the basic tenants of horror movie to know with an absolute surety that when you look away from a mirror and look back, something horrifying will be in the mirror. In the best of circumstances I try to maintain eye contact with the mirror at all times, bit with the addition of the flickering light, I've found myself forced to stay extra vigilant. A few times, I've been so scared, that I kept my eyes shut until I felt my way out of the bathroom and away from whatever may have been lurking therein. This lasted until I accidentally touched a towel, thought it was another person in the room with me, and freaked out. My fist wailed against the assailant who had melded into the hard surfaces of the wall and I shrieked with all the power and fear I could muster. I swear the mirror cracked a little bit, but all this really accomplished was annoyed bangs on the wall from my oh so concerned neighbors, and a sore hand.

The sad thing is, I almost never watch horror movies. When I tried watching What Lies Beneath, I ended up making the person I was watching it with change the DVD so it was going at 16x speed forward, and they would sum up what was happening. I still had nightmares. Most of the time when I find myself peer pressured into one, I can rely on the tried and true method of keeping my hands over my eyes. Unfortunatly, as part of the curse of being a curious person, I do have a tendency to read summaries of horror movies on wikipedia. I know that actually watching them will destroy my ability to function like a normal human being after dark, but surely just finding out what happens can't be bad? If anything, with my ample imagination I probably come up with worse scenarios than I would get if I just let the directors do the work for me. Zach made the mistake of once asking exactly what I was so afraid of. I told him in great detail exactly what might have happened to me. He's a rational, scoffing kind of guy, but even so I don't think he slept much that night. I'm a very effective imaginary fear evangelist.

So what I'm saying is that if you come to visit and the bathroom is a little messy, its only because I've been unable to clean in order to avoid a horrific death. That is all.

6 comments:

  1. For days after watching What Lies Beneath I forced my boyfriend at the time to watch me fall asleep before he was permitted to leave, and escort me at all times after dusk.

    I have not repeated the horrible horror-watching mistake again.

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  2. I never watch scary movies. I hate being freaked out.

    Hope the light stops flickering so it can just go back to being creepy!

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  3. I hate scary movies! I watched What Lies Beneath with some friends and I totally had nightmares afterwards.....I'm a huge chicken.

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  4. I am right there with you. I watched What Lies Beneath one night while I still lived at home and then timidly went to my sister and asked her whether I could sleep on the floor of her room that night. My husband thinks that I am the most easily scared person he has ever met... and he is probably right. I even get scared by some (most?) Dr. Who episodes.

    I don't keep my eyes on the mirror though, at times I frighten myself by looking into my own eyes, so I try to avoid that when I am in a freaked out mood.

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  5. Your name is Genavee? I saw it on Segullah and I thought, "What a beautiful name."

    Yeah, bathrooms can be interesting. I'm looking at apartments right now and if I find one scary I just steer completely clear.

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  6. The picture in the post scared me, that's the wimp I am! And I have been known to wash my face with one eye open just to keep an eye on the mirror...it's freaky. I completely sympathize.

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