My Future?

So remember this crazy expensive law school thing I've been doing? Apparently someday all this is supposed to lead to some sort of a job. But I sort of thought I had time to figure all that out. Truth be told, that's a big reason why I went to law school. It seemed interesting sure, but I don't have an all consuming passion for law. I just took one look at the real world, freaked out, and decided to stall and go to law school in the hopes it would lead me on a nice, clear path and buy me a few years to figure everything out.

But uh, apparently we're supposed to start getting "legal experience" right away or no one will ever ever hire us. So I need to find something for the summer pretty much now. Oh boy. Oh, and I better choose right, cuz while some legal experience is always good, getting some in the field you actually want to spend the rest of your life in is even better. Apparently law isn't just some nice neat "Yay, I'm a lawyer, let me go forth and do all lawyery things!" kind of a deal. No, its all specialized. Like heart surgeon v. pediatrician specialized. The same base of knowledge, but you probably don't want a pediatrician doing an open heart bypass. And yes, people change specializations, especially after right after school, but I feel some major pressure to have a dang good idea of what I want to do. Right now.

Here's the problem: I have no idea what I want to do, and I'm starting to feel like the only one. Now that the search for summer jobs/opportunities to be slave labor (internships) has begun, I keep hearing all these crazy detailed career aspirations from everyone around me. One girl wants to work on child abuse cases, others have the perfect civil rights group or regulatory agency in mind, etc. Some even know exactly what firm they want to end up in.

You know what I want to do? Sue people. I've never really given much thought to the million different kinds of law. I just assumed I'd work in a nice medium sized general law firm where random people would come in and we'd help them get an injunction to make their neighbor trim his trees, solve a contract dispute, get damages for a run over cat or other little things like that. Nice normal cases with a little bit of research, a few days in court and then I get a nice paycheck and a nice life. Maybe once and a while we'd get some big case where we fight for the little guy against some big evil corporation. You know, the lawyer stuff you see on the movies and the tv machine.

I'm feeling quite lost here. Not only do I not know what I want to do, I don't even know what will be possible. I don't really know what each field entails, what it requires, or even where I would be able to find a job doing it. I don't know what I would be good at. How much would it suck to decide ok I really like x type of law, so I study for it, do internships and everything I need. And then end up living someplace where that area is impossible to be hired in, or something else happens where I just can't do it. What then?

Plus, I just have no idea where in the world I'm going to end up living. Part of that is just the fun challenge of being a two career family. Needing to take two peoples career aspirations in mind really complicates things. I know sometimes things just won't be in my favor - its more than fair, we're here in DC right now mostly for me. But I'm still a little nervous about what will happen when its Zach's turn. I've known pretty much since I first started dating Zach that he really wanted to live and study abroad someday. We talked about this a lot before we married, and while he knows it kind of freaks me out, we've more or less agreed that if a good opportunity for him comes up the odds are we'll go for it. So whatever I do really should have some international application. Which would be great if I was at all interested in international law or had any language skills or something. Even assuming we generally stay in the states, things are still complicated. Moving even between states is a pain for lawyers, as you have to pass a brand new bar exam everywhere. At the very least we'll probably be moving for his PHD, and from there who knows what college's will be hiring. I just don't know how everything will work out in the future or what I should do to be well prepared.

Future family stuff further complicates things. Right now the plan calls for us to start having kids within a few years after I graduate. Ideally we'll both be able to work part time for most of our adult lives and share in the childcare - which means a flexible job would be great. I'm just not sure what law fields are generally best for that. I keep hearing horror stories of 100 hour work weeks being the norm for lawyers, even more so for young lawyers trying to prove themselves. Even without kids I feel like that would kill me (not to mention my relationship with Zach). But with kids it reaches a whole new realm of impossibility. Oh, and somehow I have to pay back all my student loans, which will end up being about the cost of a house.

So all I have to do is find a field of law that interests me, I'll be good at, I can practice in a wide variety of geographic areas, that has generally flexible scheduling and will pay enough for me to pay back student loans and support a family. Oh and now would be nice.

I'm sure I'll just end up applying to lots of places, and see what happens. It would just be so much easier if I knew where I wanted to end up.