Really, if nothing else comes out of this legal adventure, I have learned some valuable information of how to do very bad, nasty, criminal things. Sadly, most of the time my reaction in criminal law is less of a practical "oh, so thats how I would defend my client" and more of a "so if I ever decide to kill someone, I should..." It's actually sad how often an example will come up in class, and my immediate reaction is "what a great idea!". Even worse is the fact that if the case is being used in law school, it couldn't have been that great as they obviously got caught, which is why we're looking at they're trial.
Anyways, here are a few handy hints for your future criminal endeavors. Odds are you'll get caught, so lets try and limit your sentence, ok?
- If planning to rob banks with friends (or acquaintances, or random people you met in a bar, or your church leaders, it really doesn't matter), be ambitious upfront - conspire for robbing lots and lots of banks, that way you can only be charged with one conspiracy
- If you would like to kill someone, don't think to much about it before hand, just do it right away in a fit of rage. That way its only manslaughter.
- If you do plan your killing, be sure an choose the right state to do it in - sentencing laws vary greatly.
- if you get your whole criminal group to tell consistent lies on the stand, make them at least somewhat varied. everyone testifying that someone "lithely and suppely jumped onto the truck, like a tiger" it may raise suspicions
- Don't graze against, touch, or even so much as sneeze at a federal officer while commiting a crime. Sentences for anything goes up when a Fed is involved - and pretty much anything can be interpreted as assault.
I'm not sure I'll ever be that great of a lawyer, but I think I could be a halfway decent criminal. Thanks law school!
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