I feel a little silly admitting this out loud, but for a sizeable chunk of November I was hit with crazy baby fever. I'm not sure what if it was some sort of hive mind response to seemingly everyone I know having just had a baby or just found out that they're expecting (I swear, there is some sort of baby announcement on my facebook wall everyday, not to mention the people I blog stalk), or if I actually do have some sort of crazy baby, hungry biological clock deal, but oh I wanted one so bad. I was looking at all the adorable nursery things, and thinking about names and cute wittle baby smiles. Even practical Genavee kind of got into the game, and started looking at birth plans, new apartments and what not. It was pretty bad, but I got over it. We have a nice plan that calls for kids in 4-5 years when we have some sort of stability - little things like jobs and maybe even living in a place with more than one room. Big dreams, I know. But its a good plan for us, and I'm sticking with it.
Now my period is about two weeks late. I'm 99.5% sure that this is nothing. I've peed on a stick and gotten negative results, we are very responsible birth control users, all in all I can't fathom how I could possibly be pregnant. But just the very though of it being possible sends ice cold shivers of fear running down my spine. There is no way we can afford a baby. Our apartment is far to small. My health insurance is a joke. We don't even have a good network of support here in DC that could help us limp along. Not to mention how hard having a baby now would make finishing school, let alone finding a job and paying down student loans. I always know these things. But during these times of fear, I really really know. I'm choosing to interprete this little punctuality problem as the universes way of forcibly reminding me how catastrophic a baby would be right now. I get it Universe - right now baby=bad. Message received. Now if you would be so kind as to give me some peace of mind, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Or maybe the hint was the baby-crazed November that prepared you for excitement to come the next time you pee on a stick. . . who knows. I hope it all works out for you, either way.
ReplyDeleteI haven't announced any pregnancies on facebook or on my blog, so there.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap. Same thing happened to me, like, last week. Not the whole period-is-late thing, but a whole "WHY didn't the pharmacist tell me that these antibiotics 'may inhibit the effectiveness of birth control'?!" sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the one bedroom thing, the healthcare thing, the still going to school thing, the living far from a network thing, aaaaaaand the universe freaking me out thing.
So...I feel it. I feel it sistah.
You have to express more your opinion to attract more readers, because just a video or plain text without any personal approach is not that valuable. But it is just form my point of view
ReplyDeleteDo you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! :)
ReplyDeleteThat's happened to me a few times in the last 5 years of marriage. It's been pretty silent for the last couple of years, especially this past year, since hubby got a vasectomy. No pregnancy posts on my blog! Ever! yeehaw!
ReplyDelete